If you will...
Please pray for me.
I am really struggling right now. Not just with one thing but several... faith, knowing when to speak and when not to, trusting, budgeting, financial mess, car trouble, work drama, fear, anxiousness, pain, anger, love- displaying it and desiring it. I just feel like I am messing a bunch of stuff up or have the potential to, and want to honor the Lord but do not know how. I feel like I am not as honest as I once thought or hoped I was. I make decisions based on convienience or what will impress or satisfy people for the moment being and fail to live an honest and simple life. I feel like there are depths that need to be peeled and burned and refined. I am tired of this season and greatful for it all at once yet I desire full deliverance. I desire to do whats right all the time and to know what that even looks like. I desire not to be hasty and not to be self seeking. I also have ants which doesn't sound like a big deal, but I am more afraid of them than I am of spiders. I couldn't sleep last night because of all of this build up fear and anxiety. I just feel extremely attacked right now coming full speed from all directions and fearing I am out there alone to take the blow.
Yet I know that the Lord is greater, I know He is my portion, I know He loves me greatly, I know He is my deliverer and defender. I just need the faith to trust it right now when I feel everything but that. So, I really do not even know if anyone reads, but if you do, please pray for me. If you can think of a more Christ honoring way to pray for me than the way I have asked you to please do that. Thank you.
I am really struggling right now. Not just with one thing but several... faith, knowing when to speak and when not to, trusting, budgeting, financial mess, car trouble, work drama, fear, anxiousness, pain, anger, love- displaying it and desiring it. I just feel like I am messing a bunch of stuff up or have the potential to, and want to honor the Lord but do not know how. I feel like I am not as honest as I once thought or hoped I was. I make decisions based on convienience or what will impress or satisfy people for the moment being and fail to live an honest and simple life. I feel like there are depths that need to be peeled and burned and refined. I am tired of this season and greatful for it all at once yet I desire full deliverance. I desire to do whats right all the time and to know what that even looks like. I desire not to be hasty and not to be self seeking. I also have ants which doesn't sound like a big deal, but I am more afraid of them than I am of spiders. I couldn't sleep last night because of all of this build up fear and anxiety. I just feel extremely attacked right now coming full speed from all directions and fearing I am out there alone to take the blow.
Yet I know that the Lord is greater, I know He is my portion, I know He loves me greatly, I know He is my deliverer and defender. I just need the faith to trust it right now when I feel everything but that. So, I really do not even know if anyone reads, but if you do, please pray for me. If you can think of a more Christ honoring way to pray for me than the way I have asked you to please do that. Thank you.
posted by Jonsey @ 7:36 PM
2 Comments:
At 8:53 AM,
Jeff said…
I'll save you the suspense...you're not perfect, and you have the potential to mess everything up. It's the human condition.
But I would be remiss to not remind you that God loves you unconditionally, he made you as you are because you need Him. Unfortunately, in this world we only get little tastes of Him.
It's going to work out Kat.
If you want any assistance with the finances, get in contact with me and I might be able to help you out a little bit.
At 4:02 AM,
Anonymous said…
Kat,
As I read and thought about your blog, I was taken to Rom. 7. Paul writes of his own experience in what we all struggle - the flesh. We all, if we are honest, struggle in this way and when we acknowledge this God will work in us to address those things that hinder us. Trust in the Lord because He is our faith when we are weak. He is our peace when we feel troubled. He is our worthiness when we feel worthless. He is the “I AM" who knowing our struggles, provides that which we need for wholeness.
I am praying for you to realize the desire of your heart - to know Him better and to live for Him more.
I hope I have not imposed too much and that my words were encouraging.
Shaun's mom
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